The Beautiful Game On Celluloid, Role Seven

Spoiler Alert: I assume most people have got already seen these films; every bit a upshot I hash out the plot every bit much every bit I can. I volition non bear witness to larn into every item but generalize every bit much every bit possible.

Film:   Mean Machine  (2001)

In the offset of ‘Mean Machine’ nosotros view Danny ‘Mean Machine’ Meehan inward an ‘Umbro’ Commercial inward a spoof of a James Bond similar character.

We as well as thence view the slightly aged Danny Meehan sitting inward a room total of Football Memorabilia from his playing days inward a drunken jolt watching the commercial amongst liquor inward his paw amongst self-loathing.

‘Mean Machine’ is the British remake of the 1974 Hollywood cinema ‘The Longest Yard.’ In that film, Burt Reynolds portrayed a quondam NFL star who is sent to prison theatre after a run-in amongst the law.

This UK version (2001) was produced yesteryear Guy Ritchie, shortly after his successful films ‘Lock, Stock as well as Two Smoking Barrels’ as well as ‘Snatch’. In fact many of the actors who appeared inward these 2 films appeared inward this one.

One of those actors, Vinnie Jones, the quondam Football star as well as Wimbledon Hard-Man, portrays Meehan (a quondam English linguistic communication International as well as Captain) who is sent to Prison after giving chase to 2 police push clit officers piece driving boozer every bit good every bit getting into a physical confrontation amongst the same police push clit officers.

This laid on leads him to hold upwards sentenced to iii years inward Prison (to hold upwards spent at the ‘Longmarsh’ High Security Prison).

While he is beingness transported to Prison, nosotros listen Radio broadcasts revealing that his career had derailed approximately fourth dimension earlier after his interest inward a agree fixing scandal.

Upon his arrival at Longmarsh, nosotros are introduced to Ratchett (played yesteryear Geoff Bell, approximately other Guy Ritchie collaborator, of late seen inward ‘King Arthur’). Ratchett is the archetypal sadistic Prison Guard who takes pleasance inward treating the inmates inward a demeaning way.

We are as well as thence introduced to the Prison Chief Burton (played yesteryear Ralph Brown). He is a stern no nonsense man, who instantly lays downward the law to Meehan.

In addition, he informs him that Meehan is nigh offered the Managership of the Prison Football Team from the Prison Governor as well as that he should turn down this offering (as he himself is the electrical flow Manager of the Team).

He is as well as thence sent on his agency to his cell, where nosotros encounter his cellmates Trojan (played yesteryear Robbie Gee) as well as Raj (played yesteryear Comedian of Iranian Origin, Omid Djalili).

Next nosotros view Meehan amongst an old mild-mannered prisoner called Doc (played yesteryear David Kelly, famous from ‘Waking Ned Devine’) for his Prison run item as well as the twain rapidly constitute a friendship.

Doc is the elderberry statesman of the Prisoners who has a lot of wise advice for Meehan as well as appears to hold upwards the sanest individual inward the Prison.

He is as well as thence taken to view Charlie Sykes (played yesteryear John Forgeham). Sykes is the de-facto caput boss of the Prisoners. He is a well-known gangster as well as runs Drugs as well as Gambling operations inside the prison. His 2 lieutenants are the brawny ‘Kat’ (played yesteryear Andrew Grainger) as well as the Scottish ‘Chiv’ (played yesteryear Jamie Sives, who is a fine Football player, nosotros shall larn to that…)

Sykes signals his antagonism to Meehan yesteryear informing that he i time lost a lot of coin betting inward an England-Germany match. It is alluded that this was the agree that Meehan gave away a punishment boot (the fixed agree inward question).

The scenery changes to the Prison Mess Hall, where nosotros are introduced to novel characters. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 immature prisoner named Nitro (played yesteryear Stephen Walters) instantly offers his services to Meehan. Nitro appears to hold upwards mentally unstable as well as prone to outbursts. In i such outburst, he reveals that he is inward Prison for serial of bombings.

Afterwards, approximately other Prisoner named ‘Massive’ (played yesteryear Vas Blackwood) befriends Meehan as well as volition also hold upwards along amongst Doc, Meehan’s closest friend inward the Prison.

We are as well as thence introduced to a novel character, ‘Broadhurst Monk’. He is held inward solitary as well as isolation from the balance of the prisoners as well as held inward handcuffs inward his cell. We are told that he is rattling unsafe as well as completely unpredictable as well as has killed every bit many every bit 23 men.

He is played yesteryear none other than activity star Jason Statham, who was on the verge of Hollywood stardom (another Guy Ritchie connection).

Finally, Meehan is led to his coming together amongst the Governor of the Prison. He is played yesteryear David Hemmings (famous from starring inward Michelangelo Antonioni’s ‘Blow-Up’).

The Governor formally offers him the post of Manager of his Amateur Prison Guards Team. He is eyeing advertisement from the Southern Division (Semi pros) as well as sees Meehan every bit the ideal human being for that aim.

However, Meehan refuses proverb he has non played for many years as well as is out of status (not to refer he had been warned yesteryear Chief Burton (Captain/Manager of the Prison Guards Team)).

The usual dislike of the Governor as well as Chief Burton is also revealed every bit he berates the latter for the lack of results yesteryear reminding him that he has spent a lot of coin on the squad amongst aught to demo for.

We are also introduced to Tracey, a woman individual secretarial assistant working inward the Prison, (played yesteryear Sally Phillips...we shall larn to later) (Note: Bernadette Peters played this role inward the 1974 Original).

Later, Meehan is involved inward a larn by inward the Mess Hall that eventually engulfs the entire room as well as is thrown into solitary confinement.

It is as well as thence implied that the Governor had engineered the fight. This agency he at nowadays held leverage over Meehan amongst the parole board, every bit this incident would hinder whatever run a endangerment of early on a parole.

It is at this indicate that ‘Massive’ suggests of a agency out of the predicament. His view is for a agree betwixt the Guards as well as the Inmates amongst Meehan every bit the Captain of the Prisoners.

Meehan proposes the view to the Governor as well as Chief Burton amongst 2 conditions: 1) Meehan himself has to selection his team, 2) ‘What goes on the pitch stays on the pitch’.

The agree is rapidly promoted every bit ‘Cons vs. Guards’.

At diverse stages during the film, nosotros view that the Governor has large gambling debts to criminal elements. It is also revealed that he received most of his gambling tips through Sykes. The Governor is all likewise eager for this match, every bit he may hold upwards able to purge his gambling debts.

The tryouts start amongst Meehan inward accuse as well as ‘Massive’ acting every bit Manager.

Needless to say most of the prisoners willing to participate are out of shape. ‘Chiv’, from Sykes’ grouping appears talented, but Meehan is told that Sykes would never authorize the interest of anyone from his crew.

At this point, Nitro is line-fishing a agency to locomote out the prison theatre to larn to a minimum-security prison. He offers his services to Ratchett to deed every bit an informant.

Some fourth dimension later, Ratchett as well as other prison theatre guards savagely shell ‘Massive’, piece most prisoners merely stand upwards yesteryear watching. Meehan is the entirely i to bear witness to halt the beating as well as gets beaten inward the procedure as well as is thrown inward solitary again.

An unseen prisoner sneaks inward a pocket-size ball inward his solitary prison theatre cellphone as well as nosotros view Meehan starting grooming amongst upbeat music suggesting that he is getting his groove as well as feel of role back.

In a scene reminiscent of Steve McQueen inward ‘The Great Escape’, nosotros view Meehan bounce the ball at the wall piece sitting as well as catching the rebound amongst his hand.

Upon his release, he has earned the honor of the bulk of prisoners for trying to defend ‘Massive’ against the guards.

Only Sykes’ crew is nonetheless hostile to Meehan. The trainings resume amongst Meehan to a greater extent than determined than ever.

Against the wishes of ‘Massive’, Meehan includes inward his squad, ‘Billy the limpet’ (played yesteryear Danny Dyer). He is a dim-witted prisoner, as well as mostly acts every bit comic relief.

Meehan as well as Billy the Limpet

Nitro enters the fray to endear himself to Ratchett. He tips off the guards on i of Sykes’ Drug Operations inside the prison theatre as well as and thence lies to ‘Kat’ yesteryear laying the blame on Meehan.

Later that solar daytime ‘Chiv’ as well as ‘Kat’ ambush Meehan inward the shower. ‘Chiv’ is nigh to stab him inward the eye, when Meehan overpowers them. At this time, Chief Burton as well as guards come inward the showers. Meehan rapidly covers the knife amongst his towel thereby saving ‘Chiv’ from farther trouble.

This deed earns their honor as well as ‘Chiv’ is eager to bring together the squad but needs Meehan to enquire permission from Sykes. Meehan formally asks Sykes for the interest of his lads. As an inducement, Meehan suggests that Sykes tin bet on the result.

Sykes agrees but his status is that Meehan has to larn by i of his guys, which turns out to hold upwards ‘Kat’.

The larn by inward query involves the 2 men to hold upwards sitting downward as well as lock their hands inward an arm wrestling position. They as well as thence accept turns inward punching the other followed yesteryear a shot of cognac.

After taking a heavy beating Meehan finally gets the upper paw as well as wins as well as gets Sykes’ boys inward his squad.

In the squad Meehan volition accept the pump Midfield position. The seat of goalkeeper is vacant. ‘Chiv’ suggests the inclusion of Monk (Jason Statham).  Despite his status every bit a unsafe inmate, Sykes is able to line strings as well as have got him bring together the squad.

The respective teams pace upwards their preparations. The Guards (with Burton inward charge) seem orderly as well as professional person like, piece Meehan’s crew is nonetheless adjusting.

To farther house pressure level (and threat) on Meehan, Sykes informs that he has bet on them to win.

Meehan is able to analyze the opposition tactics yesteryear getting handgrip of videos of Guards recent games from Tracey, the woman individual secretary, as well as the twain engage inward a ‘quickie’.

This is followed yesteryear a strategy coming together inward Sykes’ cell, whereby Meehan is finally asked as well as reveals the reasons for beingness involved inward agree fixing (fame likewise soon, gambling debts, etc..)

Ratchett has a innovation to take Meehan from the squad, yesteryear assigning Nitro to house a bomb inward Meehan’s locker.

However, the Locker is opened yesteryear Doc as well as non the intended target Meehan as well as Doc gets killed.

For this Nitro gets transferred to a Prison that is to a greater extent than of a mental asylum.

Onto the matchday as well as nosotros listen clichéd pep talks from the respective sides’ managers (Burton as well as Meehan).

The radio commentary for the Prisoners is done yesteryear 2 inmates (played yesteryear Jake Abraham as well as Jason Flemyng (another Guy Ritchie connection)).

The twain study on the agree inward a humorous agency amongst much banter.

The Prisoners squad is called ‘Mean Machine’, wearing Black shirts piece the Guards vesture Red/white Horizontal striped shirts.

Needless to say, at that spot is a lot of kicking as well as foul play every bit each side tries to intimidate the other.

In a funny exchange, Meehan takes 2 gratuitous kicks inward succession directed at Ratchett’s crotch.

Chances larn begging from each side, every bit neither side is able to brand a breakthrough.

There is a running gag of Monk coming out of his line as well as putting his squad inward danger (along amongst Monk imagining inward dark as well as white committing vehement acts on the guards), but all his teammates are afraid of telling him to practise otherwise.

Finally the Prisoners accept the Pb every bit Meehan volleys inward the opener. Shortly afterwards Ratchett instigates a full general larn by that involves everyone. The halftime whistle ends this as well as the teams larn to their locker rooms.

The Governor, having bet on the Guards, senses defeat as well as worse (given his gambling debts). He enters the Guards locker room as well as threatens the entire squad amongst their jobs.

He as well as thence has a individual coming together amongst Meehan, instructing him to throw the game. He blackmails Meehan yesteryear claiming that he has a written confession from Nitro, which specifies that it was Meehan who had sent Doc to his locker to have got him killed.

This could potentially larn him upwards to twenty years.

A distraught Meehan goes dorsum onto the champaign but he is out of sorts as well as makes virtually no effort. The Prisoners are handicapped farther when Raj gets sent off, leaving them i human being short. Despite this, The Cons deal to score a 2d goal.

It is at this indicate that Monk’s antics damage the team. He tries to dribble his agency out of his box (a la Rene Higuita) as well as gets dispossessed as well as the guards line i destination back.

Meehan feigns as well as injury to larn off, much to the dismay of ‘Massive’ who senses the obvious.

Afterwards Ratchett scores a destination to score the agree at (2-2). Slowly Meehan’s pride as well as anger takes over as well as gets dorsum on the champaign determined to win.

Despite the initial mistrust of his ain teammates, he starts to brand inroads as well as wins balls as well as creates chances.

It all seems for naught every bit the Guards are awarded a gratuitous boot inward the finally minute. Monk heroically saves the endeavour as well as inward the ensuing counterattack Meehan races component everyone as well as is lone amongst the opened upwards destination at his mercy. After approximately minute of close-ups on the protagonists, he does non score as well as instead lays a locomote yesteryear across for ‘Billy the Limpet’ to score the winner amongst the finally boot of the match.

At the halt of the match, the Governor threatens Meehan but Burton steps inward as well as fights dorsum amongst the Governor. Burton honorably congratulates Meehan for a adept game. 

Meehan walks away smile as well as celebrating amongst ‘Massive’, amongst his pride intact.

This cinema was essentially a vehicle for quondam Professional Vinnie Jones, who had of late turned to acting.

Ironically Jones plays a fairly score headed character, which was inward contrast to his fiery as well as controversial grapheme of his playing days.

In addition, Vinnie Jones’ grapheme is an English linguistic communication National squad player, whereas inward reality Jones was a prospective Irish Gaelic National Team musician who earned International caps for Wales.

‘Mean machine’ is fairly predictable, irrespective of whether anyone has seen the master ‘The Longest Yard’. It follows the full general narrative of a fallen hero earning redemption to hook his agency dorsum to respectability. Although, it is non necessarily a comedy, it does have got a lighter tone.

Note:

1-A remake of the Original  ‘The Longest Yard’ was also made inward 2005 starring Adam Sandler inward the Burt Reynolds role.

Share this post